Shopping for Kids in 2005 is Risky

Shopping for kids seems to be getting harder every year. I hear from parents across the country who are shocked every time they shop -- not just by the prices, but by the toys and other desirables on children's wish lists.

Do we really want our 4-year-old princesses dressing dolls that look like streetwalkers? Do we want our adolescent sons spending hours playing video games that make a sport of killing policemen and prostitutes? What does it say about our country that some of the most popular products are so offensive? And, what can we do about it?

At a Virginia mall, mothers have been protesting a Victoria's Secret for a store window displaying mannequins in sexually explicit S&M poses. Parents don't want G-strings marketed to adolescent girls. The mall management responded by accusing the politely protesting moms of violating the mall code of conduct!

Mall stores across the country are carrying many of the most offensive video games that money can buy. The all-time biggest seller, ``Grand Theft Auto'' -- now in its third version -- finally graduated to an ``adults only'' rating, which means the game ``should only be played by persons 18 years and older'' and ``may include prolonged scenes of intense violence and/or graphic sexual content and nudity.''

Several major chain stores will not carry ``adults only'' games, fortunately. Unfortunately, they all carry video games labeled ``mature,'' often geared to pre-teens and young teens, even though they are ``suitable for persons ages 17 and older'' and contain ``intense violence, blood and gore, sexual content, and/or strong language.'' Believe me, they look more like X.

Perhaps you're now thanking your lucky stars that you can shop for dolls instead. But millions of Bratz dolls have been sold for preschool and elementary school girls, dressed like what used to be called ``tarts.'' Now it's called ``attitude.''

For parents and grandparents who care about their children, a TV or computer in the room may seem a very reasonable choice. Unfortunately, kids with TVs in their room watch more TV, watch more TV that their parents would consider objectionable, read less and sleep less. And, kids who watch more TV tend to be more violent, are more likely to be overweight and tend to do less well in school. The advantage of having TV in a child's room? There isn't any, unless you want to see less of your child and not hear what they are watching.

Computers in a child's bedroom are a mixed blessing. Computers are great for schoolwork, but when they are in the bedroom, children are more likely to view pornography or be ``educated'' in chat rooms in ways you never dreamed of. Research shows that one in five kids receive unwanted online sexual requests. So, if there is another room in your house for your child to use a computer, instead of the child's bedroom, that's a safer choice.

What can we do? If we keep buying sexualized dolls and violent video games, companies will keep promoting more of the same. One solution is to talk to family members who buy gifts for our children, letting them know, for example, what a mature or adults-only rating means on a video game. We can also talk to the parents of our children's friends, to cooperatively establish standards that parents can agree on and avoid the ``all my friends have it'' line that is otherwise so effective. And, we can all check Web sites such as www.toysafety.org and www.mediafamily.org to avoid the worst offenders.

Happy holidays? We will be happier if we make sure the things we buy our kids won't harm them.

DIANA ZUCKERMAN is president of the National Research Center for Women & Families. To nominate your favorite and least favorite toys and games for 2005, please click here.